My 20th birthday video (delayed)

I never really had the time to upload this video because there was so much to do throughout the whole semester, and there were also some other alterations that had to be done. So anyways, here's the final product of my birthday video aka pressie from Kenneth this year.

Jessica Jarrell

I watched The Back Up Plan today!:) It was really good, I totally enjoyed it!:) There was this song featured in it, and that is gonna be my fav song now!:) It's sang by Jessica Jarrell, and it's called Key To My Heart. There's no official video for it yet, so yea, just deal with this clip first I guess.;)

Jessica Jarrel - Key To My Heart


Boy you put me on the spot I don't know what to say
But I'm trying anyway
Like my heart's gonna drop
My mind drifts away and I can't control the pains

Words are spinning in my head
Don't know why I'm holding back
I should just tell you how I'm feeling yeah heh

But I don't wanna act a fool
Don't wanna look confused
If I let you know about the way I feel
Don't know what you gonna do
So I keep it locked inside
And imagine you were mine
And I'm feeling you so close but yet so far
You hold the key to my heart

~~~~~

This is just another song sang by the same person. It's quite catchy, which makes it easy to get stuck in my head.

Jessica Jarrel - Almost Love 24/7

Kick off the football season with Pizza Hut!‏

AWW! Don't you agree this pizza looks too nice to be eaten?!

On a side note, here's what I cooked today!:) Rissoles!:)
The thing about cooking is that although I don't know how to cook, I love cooking. And often, Kenneth is the willing party to finish it all up even though it might taste like the most horrible crap on Earth.

He actually rang me half an hour ago and requested me to cook for him==

Anyways, here's how it looks like.I tried to make them all the same size, but obviously failed==

And here's the end result.
Err yes I know they looked burnt. One moment I was afraid they were undercooked, another moment it turned charcoal black.==

Dedicated especially to Chen Yi

I was trying to take a break from study today when I decided to take a look at who has been reading my blog etc. And I came across this.

Seems like Chen Yi's my top fan!:P So I decided to dedicate this post to you:P

Also, someone tried to google "What does a hailstorm look like?" to get to my page. Hmmn, I didn't think I had that fascinating pictures to get linked.

And WHAT? Someone had to actually google "chen yi uwa" to come to my blog. That is FAIL== Why wouldn't Chen Yi's blog come up on the search?

So I went on an investigation and tried to google "chen yi uwa". The first page was filled with randoms. On to the second page, I see my blog, then I see something that's related to Sharon (although I have no idea what that site was about other than some High School stuff:S), followed by Jorine's blog, with Chen Yi's blog nowhere to be seen.

Hmmn...

Low Kay Hwa - I Cry for You

The most recent and the longest short story he has written so far. Still a rather worth reading story I reckon, but this one is much more predictable. His stories are always trying to mislead you, but I think after reading so many of his stories, I'm learning to be immune to it already.

P.S. I couldn't italic the whole story here because some of them are meant to stay italic whilst the rest are meant to stay normal.

They once told me that true love suppress all barriers in the world. They once said that if we found the “special” one, we are willing to do anything just to stay in the river of love. One of the love gurus said, “When love comes into play, logic loses its touch and emotions take over everything”.

He was right.

When I held onto the handphone, I pondered hard. You and I are in a different world altogether. Can we ever get married, just like how my cousin got married? Can we ever have children, just like how my brother has? Can we still do things that every single couple did?

I frowned. I hesitated to call you. Why should I dive into this pathetic love when I knew there would be no ending? My hand was shaking. My mind was in a blank.

I was in a mess.

Just like what the love guru said, logic has lost its touch. I dialed the number and called you. I promised that this would be the last call; I have made the promise over five hundred times.

But this time… I promise to fulfill that promise. “Ling En.” I said.

Your name; once upon a time, calling your name made me feel like the happiest man in the world.

Your name; now, calling your name made me frown in tears.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

4th January 2010. That was the day that I first met her.

It was the first day of school and I boarded the bus at six in the morning. I was expecting the bus to be loaded with tens of “kiasu” students since it was the first day of school. However, I was greeted by just five people in the bus.

I marched towards a girl who was wearing the same uniform as me. I did not remember seeing her in school before. As a Secondary Four student, I was one of the oldest batch of students in the school. She must be a freshman. No wonder I had not seen her before.

Attraction works in a weird way. There were over twenty empty seats in the bus. However, even when logic was telling me to sit on one of the empty seats so that I can have a good sleep, I uncontrollably sat beside the girl. She eyed me with the bend of her eyes and looked out to the window.

“Why are you sitting beside me?” the girl suddenly said. I was caught totally off-guard.

“Because I can see dead people.” I said and wondered what the hell was I talking about.

How ironic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On the same day, I got to know her name.

My best friend, James, and I were supposed to meet Andy for a basketball game at three. With some spare time, we decided to hang out in the canteen first. Every single seat in the canteen was taken except for the bench that James and I were occupying. We sat and just glance around.

“See any chio sec one girls?” James asked. He lives for only two purposes: Money and girls. If he is studying, he will be studying with his next target. If he is talking to a male friend, he is trying to get some monetary value from the conversation.

“There.” I pointed with my chin. The girl whom I saw in the bus was pacing around the canteen with a taller girl that had pimples all over her face.

“The girl beside the pimple girl is chio.” James muttered. “Eh, they are walking towards here. Take your bag away and let them sit beside us. Quick!”

James’ reaction had never been faster. Within the next second, our bags were tucked below the bench. The pimple girl pointed to the empty seat beside us and motioned the bus girl to sit there while she went to buy food.

“I’ll be back soon, Ling En.” Pimple girl said.

Ling En stopped in her track. She was eyeing me as if I was her long-lost friend. I kept my eye contact with her.

“No.” Ling En said. She began to walk away. “Not here.”

“Why?” Pimple girl asked.

Ling En gave me a fleeting glance. Was there a smile? “Because I can see dead people.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You always answered the phone with a lot of enthusiasm. After three years being together, I nearly forgot your real name. Ling En. That was your real name. Do you remember mine?

I wanted to end it now. Today. Today I will conquer my emotions with logic. Anthony Robbins once said that emotions are controlled by motions. If we change our motions, we can manipulate our emotions. That being said, I just need to blurt out the things I had memorized.

“Hello, darling!” Ling En yelled. “How’s your day?”

“Ling En,” I whispered. “Let’s just end it.”

“What? What, why? Why all of a sudden - ? We promised! You promised that even if I –”

“What’s the point?” I looked down. Logic, I told myself. Don’t get clouded by emotions. Just mouth out the logical words. Just read the script! “Look, Ling En, a human and… a ghost can never be together. I just want to live a normal life.”

“No, you promised. You remember after the accident, you promise that we will stay together? Why are you breaking your promise? You can’t just break your promise! We agree to stay together forever, even if we can only talk to each other on the phone every night! How –”

“I’ve been thinking.” I said. The words in the script jumbled up. Don’t let emotions control you. Control the emotions! “We can’t live in the past. I need to live normally. Sorry.”

“You can’t just leave me alone here –”

I pushed the red button on my phone and lay back onto the sofa. It was logically the correct decision, but emotionally, my mind was telling me that it was entirely wrong.

Because two hours after the call, I was still crying like a little boy.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In our love story, three scenes were etched in my mind: The first day we met, the first kiss we had and the day when the accident took place.

We had our first kiss one month after we met each other. A few days after the “I see dead people” scene, I saw her again in my CCA. She had joined National Police Cadet Corps: NPCC. I was tasked to teach the new recruits on the basics of marching.

“No horse kick!” I shouted. I showed them how a horse kick looks like: Stomping the ground without creating a “L” shape with my leg. “This is a horse kick!”

“Only a horse will do a horse kick.” In the platoon, Ling En said.

“Did you just say something?”

“Actually, it wasn’t me. It was my mouth.” Ling En replied. She was still wearing her PE t-shirt as they had not gotten their NPCC uniform. “Do you always ask stupid questions?”

I marched towards her and stared intently into her eyes. I have to admit during that time, I was attracted to her big eyes. “Drop ten now.”

“I don’t have ten.” Ling En said as she fished something out from her pocket. “How about I give you twenty, horse-face?”

Ling En dropped a twenty-cent coin on the ground and everyone laughed. I bit my teeth and slapped her lightly on the shoulder – not for fun, but due to anger.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And three weeks later, I slapped her shoulder for fun.

“You hit me first!” she kept on exclaiming. She slapped me back. We were like two primary school children trying to figure out who hit whom first. After twenty slaps, I leaned forward. She leaned forward as well.

“You kiss me first.” I said.

I nearly wanted to run away; what was I saying? Nothing like that had come to me. Through the last three weeks, we had grown closer. We would tease each other like two little kids in school. We would play “catching” like some kindergarten kids. We would not care about what others think. Once, a teacher scolded her for slapping me in the chest. I scolded the teacher and got two days of detention. Ling En stayed back in school just to slap me back for those two days.

“No.” She said and turned away. Her cheek was facing me.

I leaned forward and kissed her cheek. She yelled aloud and jumped away from me. She had a look of disgust on her face when she faced me, like someone had just spit at her. “What – what are you doing?”

“You dared me!” I yelled. I stepped forward and wanted to slap her for fun again – just to get the playful environment back.

“Kelvin!” I turned and felt my heart in my throat. It was Mrs. Yeo, the discipline mistress. She is, no doubt, the fiercest woman in Singapore (no, correction. The world). “That is sexual harassment! You tried to kiss Ling En. That is a very serious offence. Come with me – come! I said, MOVE!”

In my mind, I thought shit…

Ling En moved towards me. “Mrs. Yeo, it’s not sexual harassment if I’m a willing party.” She tiptoed and kissed on my cheek right in front of Mrs. Yeo. “It’s just BGR. A boyfriend and girlfriend thingy. It’s not encouraged, but it’s not an offence, isn’t it? Don’t you kiss your husband before you get married?”

We got five days of detention and those were the happiest days of my life.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I had not called you for one month since then and I decided that I’ll never call you again.

Like what I told you, a ghost and a human will never have a future. Emotionally we can still connect… but logically, we will never be together. We can never have the physical desire: I can never kiss you because I cannot see you. You can never touch me because you cannot see me.

Fate works in a strange way, isn’t it?

Ever since the accident, we had maintained communication. After the funeral, I realized I was able to call you with my mobile phone. All I needed to do is to dial your number, whisper your name and I would amazingly hear your voice. Initially, I thought my mind was just playing pranks on me. I told everyone about it and they told me that I was having some kind of post-traumatic disorder. After three months, when I was still able to talk to you, I knew it was not crazy: it was just something that cannot be explained by science.

We tried meeting up, but when we were in the streets, I could not see you. You had told me on the phone that you were there and I was there too. However, fate was not forgiving enough: We can talk to each other but not see each other.

Apparently, I was the one who has the ability to call you. You could not call me no matter how you tried. Fate really works in a callous manner: Giving me love but no connection. Providing the emotions but not the platform.

We made a promise. No, our emotions made a promise: Even when one of us is dead, we would still love each other forever. Like what Low Kay Hwa wrote in his 2010 novel, The Perfect Story, “marriage is just a fucking contract”. Pardon his language, but it is just so true. True love is when two are truly in love without the need to get married.

But…

I got tired. I got tired of calling you every night and not seeing you. I wanted to think logically. I wanted to go back to my world and live normally. I did not want to live in a relationship that will never blossom.

Hate me all you can; but I hope when you are there, in the other world, you can also find your happiness.

Just forget me.

I know it’s hard, because every night, I hold on to the phone, dial your number but hang up immediately. I know it’s not easy, because when I tried to forget you, your image appeared in my mind again.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If there is really a need to count, I had been in a relationship with Ling En for exactly 1,253 days when the accident occurred.

I was studying in Polytechnic and was waiting for Ling En outside her school. When she skipped out of the school like a little girl, we had a quick bear hug before I held her hand towards the road.

“Ninety-one.” She told me. I did not even need to know what she was referring to: We were so close that I knew she was talking about her Mathematics examination result. “Five points for careless mistakes. If not for that, I’ll get ninety-six.”

I planted a kiss on her forehead. She had become a regular in the detention room as we were always caught kissing each other outside her school. Even when we were caught, we continued to do it. Emotions had taken over everything. In fact, I had become a blacklisted figure in the school. Every single teacher, when they saw me, they would call Mrs. Yeo. The moment Mrs. Yeo came out of the school, my question would always be “Is Ling En released?”

Ling En became the rebel of the school. We don’t care what status she had gotten: All we knew, and wanted, was to love each other. Some people hated our relationship as we had made BGR a taboo in the school, but all were envious of our love for each other. Heck the school rules, heck every single logical talk.

The driver had been drinking.

The car – a black Hyundai Tuscani… how can I ever forget? – was propelling towards us. Ling En was still telling me about her results and how she could have gotten better grades. I saw the car.

And saw how near it was to hitting us.

Ling En did not see the car. She was so absorbed in telling me her grades that she did not even hear the car.

I released the grip on our hands and pushed Ling En away with my greatest might. I did not know where Ling En landed; all I knew was that immediately after that, a hard object hit my waist and a rush of pain flushed from my legs to my brain. I could feel my organs being smashed and the moment I opened my eyes, my head hit the ground and a cracking sound exploded in my head.

I had only one second of thought between life and death upon the accident, and I thought of Ling En.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Are you in Junior College now? Have you found a better person to love?

Are you happy now?

Here, all my friends told me to forget about you. One of the girls who also died from a car accident two years ago told me that people tend to forget easily if there is no communication. If there is no platform for connection.

Is it true?

I hope so. Because it has been six months since I called you and I am still thinking of you. But in order for life to go on, you must strive to forget me.

A wandering soul like me can never be with you, Ling En.

*Taken from Low Kay Hwa's Fan Page notes.

Low Kay Hwa - Emotions Engineer

One of the mind-boggling stories. I didn't get the ending at first. But after reading it a couple of times, I got it. Give some thoughts to it whilst reading, it ain't that confusing afterall.

As of 25 November 2007, I have a total of 89 different name cards. They were all printed with different names and positions. I was once a doctor, a graphic designer, a photographer and ironically, the CEO of a big company.

My real name is Joe Tay, and I have been an “Emotion Engineer” for twenty years.

My annual income is about twenty million dollars a year. I don’t need to pay tax, and all the cars that I had bought for were paid with full cash. My clients include bosses of listed companies and occasionally expatriates. Last year alone, I had twenty-seven clients, and the profit I had was an overwhelming twenty-two million dollars.

The next client that I had to work with is a director of a public-listed company. He, a
sixty-one-year old married guy, was dumped by a twenty-three-year old mistress. I could almost feel for him: A mistress dumping her lover? Isn’t it always the other way round?

“I want you to make her cry. Hard.” He said. After he had briefed me on that girl, I mentally crafted a movie in my mind. “I want to see her cry very, very hard. Hey, you listening to me?”

I nodded. Sometimes, in my line of work, I don’t just create emotions. I remember things. “When is the deadline?”

“Three months from now. Can you do it?”

“Two months” I said, reached for that expensive cup of coffee on his table and continued: “Two months, and prepare your one million dollars for me.”

Step one completed: Getting a “client”.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Anyone who has been through a relationship will understand this: Love is the source of all emotions. It can make you happy, it can make you sad. And in order to engineer an emotion, you first create love.

I know she cycles around East Coast Park every Saturday morning alone. When I saw her, I peddled harder behind her. As we were about two metres apart, I let go of both my hands on the handles and my bicycle skidded to the side. I jumped off the bicycle and rolled towards her direction.

“Oh, gosh, are you okay?” She had stopped her cycling and was kneeling next to me. “You’re bleeding.”

I nodded, and then shook my head. Girls like a wounded yet strong guy. “Are you alone?” I asked, looked at my wounds again and shook my head once more. “Shit. I feel giddy. I didn’t bring my handphone out. You know any clinic around here?”

“Clinic…”

She lives at Bedok, which is a bus ride away from East Coast Park. She would know where the nearest clinic is.

“Can you bring me there…? I’m feeling a bit giddy…”

She stared at me, looked around herself and muttered, “Okay, let’s go to my car.”

Step two done: Knowing her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She is an accountant. She will leave her house at eight every morning, work from nine to six in the evening, and then have dinner with either friends or family. She likes money a lot; that’s why she had gotten into a relationship with my client. Currently, she drives a Toyota Rush, a small car which suits lady like her.

My name is Chew Chee Yong, and I am a Business Development Director at a barter exchange company. My monthly salary is twenty thousand dollars, and for this project, I will drive my babe-magnet Mercedes SLK around.

Step three done: Understanding and creating characters.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It had been just one month: but one month was all I needed.

“I love you.” I said. “Seriously, from the deep of my heart, I love you since the first day I saw you. You can’t tell, can you?”

We were in a restaurant at Tanjong Pagar. I had asked around and realized this could be the most remote restaurant in the whole of Singapore, and it is already a miracle that it has yet to close down.

“Please, just give me a chance. Give me a chance to hold your hand.” I reached for her hand. She did not resist. “What I want is just a chance to hold your hand. Because after that… after that, I’m sure you’ll love me deeply as well. My love for you is too deep. Ignore how the world sees us.”

And when she nodded twenty seconds later, step four was done: Creating love, the source of all emotions.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I love you, Chee Yong.” She said. “Please, don’t do this to me…”

We had just been together for two weeks, and when I initiated the break-up, her tears were flowed down immediately. I had made sure that the video camera hidden behind the painting was recording.

“Please, Chee Yong…”

“Go back to him!” I said. “Go!”

“I can’t live without you…”

“Go away, get out from my house now.” I said, and was on the verge of pushing her. Would my pay be increased if I did that?

“I-”

“Go!”

Step five: Emotion engineered.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Two months later, when I went to my client’s house and told him that I had succeeded in my job, he showed me the widest smirk I had ever seen and got his maid to brew me the best coffee. I had brought along a DVD which was filmed when Cecilia was crying hard: The client’s requirement.

“Here you go, Joe. Very expensive coffee, you know.” he pushed the cup towards me. “You’re a real smartass, you know? A genius indeed. You can make someone laugh or cry for you. They call you the emotion engineer. Pretty fanciful name. David’s recommendation was so right.”

I wanted to get straight to the point, so I took a slip of the coffee and went towards the DVD player.

“I’m going enjoy it.” The client said. “Do you know who Kenneth Lee is?”

I remember every client I had worked with, and every victim that I had preyed. After putting the DVD into the player, I strolled towards my client and nodded. Two years ago, I had managed to make Kenneth so depressed that he was on the verge of suicide. My client was then a managing director of a computer firm who was dumped by him.

“He’s my cousin.”

I darted my eyes deep into my client’s eyes and relaxed my chest muscles. My client’s smile turned into a laugh. “You think you’re smart, Joe? Do you think I’m going to pay you for making that girl cry? Come on. You are smart, but so am I.” He stood up and stepped right in front of me. Behind me, the DVD had started playing. “That girl that I asked you to work on: She’s just a receptionist in my office, and I don’t even know her name. You messed with the wrong guy, smart Joe. Our conversation is recorded, and I’m going to show Kenneth how pathetic you look now. You’re smart, but you’re not smart enough.”

I could almost smell his breath. As his laugh faded into a wicked smile, I ambled towards the sofa, rested one of my feet on my thigh and said, “Do you have popcorn? Your wife is on the TV.”

Step six done and project completed: “Client” deceived.

Who says I work only for money?

P.S. It's funny how the characters' name: Cecilia and Kenneth are in there:P

*Taken from Low Kay Hwa's Fan Page notes.

Low Kay Hwa - A Mother was Once a Daughter

A story on morale here.

“When she scolded me, I just cried. I hope she would not take out the cane, because scolding is just words, but caning is painful. I cried not because I had done something wrong; I cried because she was scolding me so loudly that I was afraid the neighbours would hear her. I couldn’t afford to let Peter know that I was scolded. To thank her, I promised to never to scold my kids when they did something wrong.

“When she scolded me, I just scolded back. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, she was being unreasonable. It was only for ten minutes: Why fuss over ten minutes? Why use the word ‘complacency’ to fuss over the ten minutes? Reasonable: Why couldn’t she understand it? To thank her, I made a silent promise: I would never scold my child for being late. It’s only ten minutes: One-sixth of an hour!

“When she scolded me, I just walked away. No point, I thought. I frowned, for I used to cry and scold back. But she was just being unreasonable. Very. She scolded me for bringing Eric home. Oh, come on. What era are we living in? What was she thinking? There’s really no point in talking back to her. To thank her, I restricted my conversation with her to the minimum.

“She’s my mother. Well, I was made to believe. I was quite certain that when I was one-year-old, I was adopted from some orphanage. She just wanted me to take care of her when she becomes old. She just hates living alone. That’s her. I know her too well.

“So I defied her wish. I ran away. Of course, I mean, what for I live with a woman who is just using me? Investing in me so that in the future, I can take care of her? I am not a dog. She should have bought a dog instead.

“Guess what? She apologized to me after a few days, when I went to Joy’s house to live. You know, I really laughed out loud. She was begging me to go back to her. You know, I can almost remember her words. She said she was sorry, and hoped that I would go back to her. You think I go back to her?

“I said, ‘Go away, woman’.

“She scolded me when I did not complete my homework. That is why now, I am a degree holder. She never gets the chance to see my graduation. She scolded me when I was late for ten minutes. That is why, now, I never get complacent over little things and is dubbed as the most 'efficient' employee by my boss. I never get the chance to give her allowance now. She scolded me for bringing Eric home: Eric is now in Changi Prison. My husband never gets the chance to see her.

“So, girl. I know how you feel now. You just have to understand, a mother was once a daughter. Can you come back home now? Can you come back to me, just like what it was, years ago?”

*Taken from Low Kay Hwa's Fan Page notes.

Low Kay Hwa - Promise

I personally like this one. I didn't see it coming at the end.

You remember? You remember you were the one who promised? Why, why must promises always be broken? Is the end of a promise always a shattering glass panel?

You promised. You promised that you would always be here with me, that if I allowed you to hold my hand, I would be the happiest girl in the world. You promised, I believed your promise, and that was why I held your hand. Why did you break your promise?

When you walked away from me, I stayed at the beach and cried. I forgot how many drops of tear had flowed out from my frail eyes: All I knew was that, as I sat there alone, your image was fading away, just like your love for me. Do you know I wanted so much to just wheel myself into the sea?

You promised. You promised that you would take care of me when the car accident took away my ability to walk. You said you would be my legs: I told you that things would not be that easy; you told me you would carry me if there is a need; I told you I would never walk again; you told me one day, one day we would go for a marathon together, with you carrying me. You promised, that was why I agreed to hold on to your hand. Why did you give up?

When you said you had given up, I told you all the promises you made. I listed them one by one, and ticked all those that you had fulfilled. I asked you why you couldn’t fulfill the last one: You said you were tired. But you promised. You promised that we would go through this together.

You promised. You promised to marry me, and I would sit in a wheelchair while you sit in your motorbike, so that we could kiss without you kneeing down. We planned our wedding, we were so convinced that my disability would never be a factor in our lives. I was convinced. Why must you concede to the cruel hands of fate?

That day, when you were gone, I was alone at the beach. I knew you wanted me to hate you for giving up so easily. But if love can turn into hatred so easily, it is not love. That day, I went to the church that we were going to get married in. I closed my eyes and visualized the marriage.

You promised. You promised to take care of me, to earn enough money so that we can buy a bungalow with a lift. You worked seven days a week, just so that you can earn enough to start your own company. Why did, why did you not fight back?

I had bought your favourite food, and they are here, in front of your photo. If you have not given up and fought the cancer, would you have fulfilled all the promises?

As I left your grave, I wondered if you had heard me.

*Taken from Low Kay Hwa's Fan Page notes.

Low Kay Hwa - Boy to Man

Strangely, I don't recall reading this at all. But oh well, this is the first short story he posted, so there you go. It's not very interesting, but it's ok la..

One . I cannot remember him, all I know is that he was there, looking at me right in the eyes with a smile and telling the nurses how proud he was. It was related to me by my mother, who was beside him all the while. In fact, I thought the description of him beside my mother all the while sounds better.

Six . He scolded me everyday, telling me that boys should not cry, and not to tarnish the boys’ reputation. He beat me with rulers and used pain to stop my tears. I did not dare to tell him that the pain encouraged the tears, not stopped them. But to him, either he was right, or I was wrong. There is always no room for compromise.

Seven . He said he would let go, I screamed no, he yelled yes, I begged him not to, for we were going too fast, he yelled yes, I said I would do anything as long as he didn’t let go, he yelled yes, and when I realized his yell sounded distant, I was cycling without him pushing.

Fourteen . He told me that when he was a teenager, he had no money to buy cigarettes, so his friends and he picked up butts from rubbish bins, hoping that someone out there had not smoked to the end. Then he told me about how one of his friends died from cancer, and told me nicely that if I want to quit, now is the best timing. I said the lighter was for a school project. He told me he used the trick before.

Seventeen . He told me never to rush into things, but if the girl is willing, and I cannot control, then just follow the slogan in Nike. But he kept on emphasizing this: Wear a helmet when you are riding. He put a box of condoms on my table, and then had a quarrel with my mother. I nearly cried when I saw him being slapped by my mother, but I could tell that he was angry not because of the pain, but the fact that I saw everything.

Nineteen . He said it was a walk in a park nowadays. He kept on dredging up his own army stories, about how he charged up a hill with tanks and how people around him fainted and how he was the last man standing, firing at the enemy. He told me to enjoy my chalet, and to treat my wife, named M-16, with care and to clean her regularly. I just wanted him to shut up in front of all my new friends.

Twenty-eight . He told me not to spend the money, and to return the money. I lectured him a story about jealousy, and about how he had contributed to my fortune. I bought a condo and a car, and paid taxes for my stocks’ winnings. He threatened to call my company: I did not care, for I knew he would not do it, for I knew he is a coward.

Thirty-one . He called me when he heard the news. I hung up without saying anything. He called again. I hung up. He called. I hung up. He appeared on my doorstep, and related a story about a boy who fell down, and stood up. I told him I was thirty-one: He told me he is my father. I cried. He cried.

Thirty-three . He visited me, and I hesitated before meeting him. He said it was okay, life can be restarted, like a game in Playstation 3. I told him no company will employ me after they realized I had embezzled the company’s funds. He told me he would start a company, and employ me. I laughed. He laughed. I remembered him.

Forty . I became him.

*Taken from Low Kay Hwa's Fan Page notes.

Low Kay Hwa's stories

As many of you would have noticed how I have suggested you guys to join the Fan Page of this Singaporean author Low Kay Hwa. Well, initially I did it so I could read the free E-Book story of "I Believe You". I think I always have a soft spot for romancey stories, so after reading it, I wanted to read more of his stories. And of course they cost money, so yea, couldn't read it:(

Kenneth and I, being the typical kiasu people (FYI Kenneth isn't Singaporean), we tried participating in Low Kay Hwa's weekly contest on his Fan Page, where 5 lucky winners will win a book voucher whilst 3 lucky winners will win a book. Some of his questions will require you to read the book to know the answer, but some of his questions are personal, like how old is he?== There are even easier questions like how many of his books have you read before?==

I think the first time I participated and won a voucher, I was over the moon. And upon knowing I will get a free book because I'm not residing in Singapore/Malaysia made me jump up in joy!:) Consequently after that, we participated and although your answers may matter, I think it's due to luck you would win. There's generally over 50 responses, and to win, how lucky do you have to be? And also, he normally only puts up the contest from 10pm-11.59pm on a day he feels like it, so you really have to "happen" to see it on your news feed to know it. Unless you want to stalk his profile every now and then. Fortunately, due to LUCK, we have won a couple of books (E-Books cause I opt for it), and yea, looking forward to reading them after exams.

I guess it's funny cause I hate reading, yet I love reading his stories. It's even funnier when all of his stories always happen to be suspenseful along the way, and there will be a twist at the end that would make the whole story make sense. But then if you read the story for a second time, you will realise and pick up hints he had actually given you along the way, which you had ignored cause you didn't think it was that important.

Low Kay Hwa also writes a couple of short stories which I too, like them. So I shall be copying and pasting them on my next couple of posts. Whatever it is, if you don't want to read it, then skip my next couple of posts. Nevertheless, I strongly recommend you to read it!:)

Mobile numbers

I'm sorry, I'm bored. And I'm trying to be a nice gf here, accompanying my beloved bf who is mugging hard for his assignment, whilst I'm trying to take a break from studying.

Anyways, interesting thing to share here. Though it doesn't relate to any of you in particular.

Mobile numbers. You know when mobiles weren't really invented yet, and we always held around this address book which contains numerous numbers of everyone. Then it tested our memory at some point in time where we would remember the numbers we would always dial, like best friend's number and home number etc.

I don't know about you, but I get obsessed with numbers. So I like to remember them in a particular way that makes it easy to remember. And you know times where you have maybe 2 or 3 consecutive numbers of 2 different person's number, and sometimes you get mixed up when you're trying to call one when in fact you called the other.

Personally I don't think my mobile number is that easy to remember. It's not difficult, it's just not one of those like my brother's number that is obviously way more easy to memorise than mine. *sad face* Oh and I think my Mum likes my brother's number more because it relates to our Singapore home number. *sadder face*

Anyways, many questions arose when news got out that Kenneth and I got together at first. I can understand where they're coming from, and you know, just like you would never believe in love at first sight until you've experienced it. So I guess it's inevitable questions arose, and just like how I would still explain it now, well, we had a lot of similarities that caused us to believe we were fated to meet.

Back to mobile numbers, it was never really a concern back then when we first met at work since we were technically in Singapore and Aussie number don't matter. But at one point, I acctually saw a similarity in our mobile numbers. And it's not the first two digits 04 I'm talking about here.

Aussie mobile numbers have 10 digits, and yes the first two would definitely be the same for everyone. So out of the remaining 8 digits, what are the chances that you would get the same numbers but in different order?

(e.g. 0412345678 and 0487654321 or 0412873465, you get what I mean.)

Additionally, what are the chances you would get the same numbers falling in the same place same order?

(e.g. 0412345678 and 0412654378)

Alrights, enough of explanations. You be the judge here.

My number: 04*1 *94 285
Kenneth's number: 04*1 *94 385

Enough said. 7 out of 10 digits in the exact right place. Honestly, what's the chance? I don't even have friends nor relatives having 2 consecutive numbers with me (again, except 04).

Conclusion: Fated to be together?

P.S. Both numbers are our first mobile numbers. I've had it for about 3.5 years now, and he's had it for about 2 years now. And we've only been together for less than 1.5 years. So we couldn't have pick a number that is similar to the other party.

And when it comes to filling up forms, sometimes I have to stop annd think as to which AND what is my number==

Did I mention?

Forget about the depressing stuff.

Did I mention Kenneth is going to be an uncle soon? And I'm gonna be a.. err.. something. Ok fine, I'm not even related, I don't know why I'm so happy for. Guess I'm just envious of people becoming uncles and aunties at such a young age. At the same time, I guess it does makes you feel old.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing you baby Adrian!:) And I guess Kenneth's family are rather happy, cause there were some complications in between, and the baby was well, unexpected heaven sent.

Depressed mood.

Today is the day.

I cried in the exam hall.

I studied it this morning. I was more or less certain I got it. I glanced at the paper. What's the formula? I don't remember. How do you go about working it out? I don't remember.

I stared at the clock. It was 9.30am. I've got time to do it. But, how?

It was then 10.30am. I've still got time to do it, but, how?

At 11.30am, I broke down. Like those kids who were made to give their first speech in front of the class. They got nervous, and it caused them to cry saying they can't do it. I was there, tears in my eyes, because for the first time, I had this mental block. Nothing is in my head, at all.

There were however, many other things flowing through my mind. Disappointment. Mum's gonna kill me. Summer School again this year?

For the first time, I actually wanted to leave. I actually wanted to walk away just like that, leaving everything behind for the others to clear up for me. I'm sick and tired of this life. Perhaps Finance wasn't suited for me afterall.

Now go say whatever you want to say about me. How I never study. How I never put in any effort. So now you think you know me well? You think I never really tried? I may not be as conscientious like you; I may have procrastinated more than you; but you cannot say I never tried. It hurts to know that these friends aren't your true friends afterall.

Anyways, enough of this. I've thought of the worst scenario already. It would have to be Summer School again, no home again, grumbling from Mum again, so on and so forth. All I wish now, is a PASS. I don't want more, I don't want less, I just want a 50. I just need a 50.