Depression...

I feel... Sometimes I do feel... I have got depression... Like seriously... Depression...

Symptoms of depression:

Mood
-feeling sad, moody or crap
-feeling hopeless or helpless
-feeling numb or empty
-feeling anxious
-feeling guilty and blaming yourself
-unable to feel good or enjoy things that you do normally

Thinking
-being overly self-critical
-believing you can't cope and that things are out of your control
-difficulty making decisions and thinking clearly
-poor concentrating and memory
-thinking about suicide or ending your life

Behaviour
-lack of motivation and energy
-crying a lot
-losing interest in activities you usually enjoy
-withdrawing from your friends and family or being overly dependent on them
-increased use of alcohol or other drugs
-losing your temper more than usual

Physical
-loss of appetite or over-eating
-changes in sleep patterns ~ difficulty getting to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night or sleeping for longer
-headaches or stomach aches
-feeling physically sick
-lack of interest in sex

Out of the 22 symptoms listed, I probably have got almost 20 of them... On the outside, as much as I seem like the cheerful girl who never fails to be random and smiles alot, deep inside is a different person... I often felt like I live two separate lives; one is the one friends at school see me, teachers see me, family sees me... But deep inside is another person that often feels the above symptoms since young...

When I was born, I was seen as an ugly black looking child where grandparents sees it and go 'Did they get the wrong baby?'... Since born, unlike other newborns where they get to be with their mum everyday; I was in a separate hospital, thus away from every possible kin... Then I had to get thrown to my dad's friend who couldn't look after me properly, so I got into one of my aunt's hands and she managed to bring me up a little til the age of 2... Then I had to get passed back to my family, and with my mum busy with work, I was often left alone at home with a milk bottle on the bed beside me, and I often even wonder if I was constantly staring at my milk bottle then... Then I got into the hands of a nanny, the same one with my younger brother, and she was a FREAK FREAK, like she threatened us with many awful things, imagine a group of 5-7 kids around 3-6 years old sitting in front of her and getting threatened... And she tried to feed us all with one big plate; one mouthful each going in a circle routine...

Can't remember much about Kindergarten, and the only Primary School memory is getting bumps on my head every second day when I try get to the canteen earlier by taking this shortcut where we have to jump into this hole that leads us to the canteen faster... Does sound like fun indeed... Primary 2 was a disaster because I had to learn to cook myself, bascially instant noodles, and times where I had to cook for everyone in my family except my mum who is at work... I was like the second mum at home, every single day had to wait for the child care centre lady to come pick my younger brother off from Kindergarten, and that lady is forever late, causing me to run to school everyday, and 75% of the time I'm always late, thus had to be punished to stand at the Hall while everyone was sitting down... Guess being a tardy queen was what I was since young...

Had an awful childhood I would say, having always to take the dogs for a walk when I've got so much other stuff to do, and it's not like I was the only one who is a human at home, and I'll never forget that incident(s), and all those fortune teller predictions coming, telling me I've got to be cautious of this and that... Getting whacked by my dad because of the dumbest thing, like didn't get 100% in my Chinese spelling and got whacked with the mouth bleeding at 1am in the morning when I was 7 was something I'd never forget to... Often had to cover up the bruises from wooden sticks or canes in school, thank god school skirts in Singapore were below the knee really... Often cried myself to sleep since young, and High School in Australia wasn't much better...

One issue I also had to deal with was the bias-ness of people... Me being the middle child in the family, often doesn't get as much as the others... Dad dotes on older brother more, buys him mobile phones, mp3, computer etc, everything goes to him first, which to some extent can't be blamed since he will most likely use them first, but that's when he gets all the good stuff first... Then Mum dotes on younger brother more, because he's 'always so young', well technically he's forever gonna be the youngest child, so it means he's gonna be spoon-fed forever... I had to cook and be independent myself since the age of 8, and now my younger brother is already 17, and most things still have to be done for him... Have to cook noodles for him, have to take care of him... Then where was my share of care when I was young??? I wasn't even trained to be independent, I was made to be independent...

It's just unfair cause I was always told to wash my own clothes, even when I went back to Singapore last year, when I had to work, my mum's still hell like 'You should wash your clothes blah blah blah'... My younger brother's on holidays, older brother's out everyday, and they aren't even told to wash anything... At least I still take the initiative to wash the dishes at home, and even swept the ground when I was off, while both brothers don't even do anything, and oh they get everything!!! My mum would cook and heat up food for them, and she'd just say 'Oh, you know how to cook, so go cook yourself'... Well did I want to know how to cook myself??? Did I not want to be like them and have someone feed me after I've played on the computer or out all day??? When you don't cook or do anything that belongs to you, like folding your own clothes, they would scream at you for not doing so, saying why are girls so untidy blah blah blah... And when guys have a room full of stuff everywhere, they're not being told off, and they'd have someone to fold them all neatly and tidy for them... If not, you would be the one asked to do so for them, because you're the girl, the one who should be neat and tidy and help out at home all the time-.-

Why must they have such a traditioned mindset of girls doing everything and helping out at home while guys never had to do anything??? Even women are out at work nowadays, it's not like the past where they stay home and get fed by their husband's so-called hard earned money... Women have to work for the family now as well, so why can't the husbands be a bit more sensitive and actually help out at home instead of 'Oh I'm so tired from work, I deserve a rest'... I would always have to be the one to hang out clothes when they're washed, and collect them back in when they're dried... Some bullcrap theory of 'Oh your younger brother can't take it in cause he's still young', still this, still that... Well he's taller than me now, so what if he's 2 years younger, is there a law that says that you can't help your mum hang out clothes unless you're over a certain age level???

Whenever asked, do you miss you mum??? Most of the time I would say NO... Perhaps it's because this is already my 5th year in Perth, so technically I've spent a quarter of my life away from my Mum in a foreign country, taking into account she took up many jobs when we were young, and we were often away from her, so we don't even have that close a bond that was built up since young like how other kids have with their parents... Moreover, since I've been independent, I can cook wash eat live myself, it's just a little more time consuming doing things yourself, otherwise I am able to survive well enough... Like some people said, I could probably get married off right now... Not that I wanna get married so early anyways, plus a fortune teller thing said I couldn't get married early, so too bad... People who wants to see me get married will have to wait for another ten years or so... But to think about it, by then most of my friends around me would have gotten married... Hmmm...

*You said you think you were the main culprit causing my depression like symptoms, perhaps it was you, but prolly not mainly you because the unhappiniess all began since young... So it became a lifehood thing...

'Invisible man' Lin Bolin to wow the world

Just wanted to share this awesome piece of art I've saw...

Article: http://www.news.com.au/travel/story/0,28318,25952008-5014090,00.html?referrer=email&source=eDM_travel

Don't you reckon the art is just fabulous??? It's so OH-MY-GOODNESS REAL!!!

The Nature Love Story...

When I stayed over before, Jorine was asking me to read this story, and yes, credits to her, this story is indeed awesome=)

Tree
===
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her. She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility. Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years. She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.

She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director. When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't. Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.
During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay."

Leaf
===
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why? Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy. Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit. They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal.

I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt. I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out. You can't expect me a gal to ask him right?

Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him. The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting. The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years.

Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree. In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away & better land. Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
===
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school. I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes. Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note. The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away.

It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It because leaf never want to leave tree. I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me. Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope. Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears. "I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell. During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly. Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

A great story isn't it???
Taken from: http://www.yourlifehappiness.com/love_lovestory23.html

The worst day of my life...

Thanks to some very unluckiness, I'm even having so much pain trying to type now... This is seriously the worst that can ever add to my sorrow right now...

I woke up this morning, a little late than usual, but still managed to wash up, get changed, spread my bread, and heat up a pie in the microwave... Before I left, everything was fine, and though like usual, I have to run to the train station again, but you know, I've been doing that type of running for years now, ever since High School... So I was there running thinking I should be able to make it today, shouldn't be a poblem as I was crossing over to the Park N Ride when I prolly stepped over a small stone or something without noticing, and that's when I started tumbling down and rolling quite a bit in barely a few seconds, then suddenly I heard someone saying 'Are you alright?', and that's when I hurriedly got up, told him I'm fine, then looked at my hands, and think 'No I'm not at all fine'... It seemed I was very distracted for a moment, felt painless for a moment, then I guess the sudden knocked back to your senses sorta got to me, and tears flowed out... It hurt alot... Then the image of you came to my mind... I started going to and fro, not knowing if I should go back home, in fact a little scared cause I like just told my mum I was leaving the house, and there I appeared back at home-.- But anyways, I got home, got the expected 'I thought you said you were leaving' reaction, hurriedly got a few plasters and ran out of the house... I didn't want an interrogation, not at that point in time anyways...

So... Disgusting pictures of my clumsiness... Or was it because of the Lunar 7th month??? Hmmn...


Right-hand... It's quite a deep injury, hurts like hell!!!

Left-hand... I tried to patch the skin back...

Left-hand...


Not a as serious scratch on my foot...


This jeans meant alot to me; significant value, and now it's getting a hole and threads are coming off:'( SIGH...

I can't even hold a pen properly now, it's so hard to write in the econs tute just now:( And OMG, WTH was the quiz just now??? Seriously, at first I thought didn't have to do an essay this sem, instead we'll have to do 5 quizzes of 3% each fornightly, that would be perfect to score for econs!!! Then, you look at the questions in the quiz, and seriously, 10 MCQ in 10 minutes isn't easy... See, the thing is, people often say 120 MCQs in 120 minutes is crazy! Yes that's true, but 10 MCQs in 10 minutes is even worst!!! Doing the maths, it's the same, it's still 1 MCQ per minute... BUT!!! If you really gave a thought about it, in 120 MCQs, they would not all be on the same difficulty level... Some questions would be shorter than other questions to read; some questions are more easily answered than others... Also, if you were ever to use a formula, certain times the formula can be reused, which means that you wouldn't have to sit there cracking your brains cause you can't remember which was the appropriate formula to use... And there's other questions where they've got a major question, and the following 5 questions would relate back to the major question you have read... That technically saves time from reading a brand new question again!!! But, when you actually do a quiz of 10 MCQs in 10 minutes, what is the amount of time for you to finally get settled into the mood that God you're doing a freaking quiz right now, STOP WASTING TIME!!! Or, times where you read the question for the first time for the basic understanding and figures, then secondly you have to draw graphs and answer the question, by then, wouldn't 1 minute would have gone past past??? Yes I know it's a group work sorta thing, but so??? You can't appoint certain people doing the first 3, middle 4, last 3 questions when they print the quiz paper back to back, and there was only ONE COPY!!! Also of course, it could also be a matter of trust that you would check your team mates answers, so 10 freaking minutes is not enough!!! Ahhh!!! One last thing to add on, knowing people have to walk from the front of the school or Octagon to Business School for the tute, at least start the tute a bit later, so people won't miss out the first few minutes and this tutor go 'Oh well, you're late, so no extra time'... He could have just gone through with the questions that has to be discussed in the tutes FIRST, THEN do the quiz since everyone should have gotten there by then!!! Oh oh, and one more note to add to it, I swear our lecturer said that we had 15 minutes to do the quiz!!! So I'm so GRR at the tutor now, though he seems like a nice old guy, but still!!! -.-

(edited: 7.30pm)

Mum cooked these today, hehe:P


Dinner dinner=)

By the way, thanks Jorine for waking up so early to get me larger size plasters and accompanying me walk to Biz School=) Love you:P

I don't love you anymore...

Why did you have to come online??? It never used to be like that... Every single time you come online, you would always talk to me, ask me if I'm there, and would want to know what I'm doing etc etc... When does my heart feel flustered the moment you come online??? I don't know what to do, what to do if you talked to me??? What should I say??? Should I reply???

And oh wait, that's right, I remember, you would not talk to me... Because you would never initiate anything... You haven't been sending a text message, I have not heard from you for 2 days... So guess I shall not panic...

Who are you??? I feel like I don't know you at all now... You feel like a complete stranger to me now... I don't even know you... The once so familiar MSN look, with that display picture, with that display name... None of them are there anymore... Everything that was built up in the past months have gone down the drain... Are you feeling drained out too??? Are you feeling there's no point in persisting on anymore??? Therefore you're letting go of every single thing you've once said to me, that you've once promised me, that you've once made me make a promise to you... Yes you know why I never wanted to promise you anything, it's all because of this... Why make a promise you'll be devoted to each other forever when something like this could always happen, and til then the promises once made were all broken... You were always always holding on more than I ever did, and now you're letting go more freely than I ever would... Are you tired of giving in to the demanding me??? Can you not take it anymore???



Isn't it true??? Aren't we like this now???

All I can ever do now is submerge myself into studying... Drown myself in a pool of chocolate bars... After all, you're not there to comment on it anymore... Or try make me run 10 rounds for every chocolate bar I eat... Or pinch your cheek on webcam to signify how fat I'm getting...



What will happen to our agreement??? Are we still sending stuff to each other every month on that particular date??? Are we still gonna write a bunch of letters and send them??? It's like 10 more days to our 7th month, but guess you just decided not to wait for it aye??? But again, it doesn't seem to bother you as much... You never had the intention of sending anything anyways... Certain things I've definitely reminded you umpteen times, just like the watch... Did the watch not mean anything to you at all??? Well of course to your mum yes, but oh it just wasn't that important to you, so oops, you forgot about it... It's fine, but if you really really had the intention of giving it away, and after being back for 1 month already, no way there's no time for you to send it when you definitely had time for family, friends, everyone and everything else... It's all because you never ever wanted to send it, and worse still, when I asked you about it, you said you had already sent it, when you actually completely forgotten about it-.- I'm not out to get it from you regardless of whatever when I know it belonged to your mum... But don't come to me one day and say excitedly 'My mum is giving you this watch!' and then you forgot about it and said I already had it-.- Don't tell me you were giving it to me when you had no intention of doing so... I'm not the type to wanna 'swallow' all your stuff away...

You never had the intention of doing anything, otherwise in the past year, you would have already sent something... It was often so hard to even get you to write me a letter, whilst throughout the past year, cross your heart and ask yourself how many things have I sent you??? How many things have I done for you??? It's not a like a quantitative thing here, it's all about intentions... I do not want you to do things for me because you felt it was an obligation... I want you to do it purely because you wanted to do it from your heart... Every single time it always felt like you were obliged to do this and that for me, and you know that's not what I wanted... You also know that that was always a problem between what your parents thought about me... I've always told you to do things your own way, but I'm only there to help to analyse what is right and wrong to do since I analyse a lot... I'm not saying my analysing is always right, but at least it's opinions you can choose to heed from or not... I'm not there to demand you to do things that benefit me... 我不是牵着你的鼻子走的人... If you reckon what I said is wrong, you shouldn't follow what I say, then don't do it... Don't make it feel like oh, I'll be upset if you don't do it... If it's wrong, why follow???

Like I've always told you, you cannot just think in one direction... You cannot just think of your goal, and a way to get to your goal, then that's it... You have to think what if obstacles comes up??? What are some of the obstacles??? How can you handle them??? You can say why should you even bother wasting so much time thinking of all these miscellaneous when you could be spending the time wisely on other things... But so far, of the many things you have done, tell me which of them didn't require even more time and effort trying to settle them??? When you didn't heed my advice and decided to come in Easter, yes I was happy, but did you remember how long we tried settling other issues like how the ticket prices were going up further and faster than we expected, how your parents were fully unhappy about your persistence??? Then you gave me such a headache, trying to settle so much when I've got so much other stuff to do as well...

And do you remember you gave me another issue about the Exchange program??? Yes I know why you want to do an Exchange, how it would benefit both of us... But you can't just call up your parents one day, tell them you decide you want to do an Exchange program, with them shocked with your decision, thinking what the hell just happened to their once so seemingly obedient kid, who has just got a girlfriend, and became so 'rebellious' in making decisions himself, thinking everything is right, and he'll go fine doing it...

You can't set yourself a goal say go to a particular island, and the way to get there is by a boat, so that's all you go ahead doing it... What if you planned food for a day and your journey was delayed and there wasn't enough food??? What if there was heavy rain which prevented you to get to your destination??? Some things you can't only think of a solution when trouble happens, you need to have alternatives and precautions taken...

You can't set a goal to visit your loved one, and the way to do it is to visit her, then oh that's what you should do to attain the goal... What if something occurs and you have to go back to Singapore instead??? What if flights were cancelled, and you can't go anymore??? What if your parents changed your mind about everything, and you've got no choice??? What if your studies didn't go well and you had to do Summer School??? I know there's always endless of what if(s), and of course, how many of them can you actually prevent them from happening??? But the thing is, have you ever thought that obstacles could ever happen??? Have you got alternatives planned out??? Have you even thought about anything else other than your 'straight planned-out path'???

Certain things you can't always just go straight... Like a MRT train track, because it's well above, it can just follow the rails and go along... But to get to Orchard, you can't just follow the train tracks because you would have to cross rivers and forests and buildings that are well in the way... You would have to make turns along the way... I'm not saying to get your goal you have to be crafty and evil and has a motive... But if you have to do it, and it doesn't result in that bad an outcome, then why not??? Everyone, including you and me, will have their own best interests at heart... It's not selfish as we had learnt in Microeconomics, it's self interests... Of course that is a generalisation, because there are some people who would sacrifice themselves to save others... But in general, if a fire outbreak occurs, you think people would run for their lives, or try save others and sacrifice themselves???

In conclusion, I was never that important to you... All you ever do is say it, but not mean it... Everything you say sounds so sweet, and what has your actions proven??? Nothing!!! All because your actions showed nothing, nothing at all... It showed nothing like what you said you would do... You never bothered... Just like how you would rather play FarmVille on Facebook right now at this moment in time, instead of salvaging anything at all... And go screw yourself with your whatever bull crap theory of 'Oh, I'm not talking to her for at least two weeks so she can calm herself down'... If this is the best you can do, then I think it's much better to leave it like this now, cause I think it was totally wrong to have started with you, and it would be better off if you could just disappear from my life!!!


And why give me such a huge bear, that takes up more than half of my pillow, more than half the width of my bed, which totally resembles YOU when you were here, and try tell me right now that I'm better off without YOU???

I really wish I don't love you anymore...

Distance...

Distance makes us far apart and darkens my today.

I have to keep remembering you’re just a thought away.

When the world is too confusing, and times are hard to bear, I pull your precious meaning, your bright spirit from the air.

If I sometimes drift into a lonely state of mind, I gather up the memories of days we left behind.

And though you’re not beside me, I have your memory in my heart and draw upon the warmth and love that lives when we’re apart.

Disclaimer: I did not write this myself... But it fits the point that I'm trying to get across...

The first day...

I came across someone's blog today... A person you may well know too... He had suffered from depression, and is still working hard to let go of the past whilst walking straight to the end of life... On one of his entries, he wrote:

"I also believe that if you truly love someone, you wouldn’t want to see her miserable. If a divorce was going to make her happier, then what can I do? It wasn’t like I didn’t do anything. I have pleaded, persuaded, even rationalised and also brought our kids into the picture. I have tried all ways and means yet I still couldn’t salvage the situation. After a few months of separation, I finally signed the papers. Believe me when I said it wasn’t easy as my heart broke that day for I truly did love my ex-wife."

By David Chuah

This is what you think as well, isn't it??? You just think that that's the best you can ever do, and by doing this it's not gonna hurt as much, don't you??? What a noble way of thinking??? With you thinking that's the best way out, have you ever thought about how I feel??? For the first few hours, it was just tears and tears... Tears flooding the table, with papers all around absorbing the tears up... With every person's consolation on MSN still couldn't be compared to one word 'Sorry' that came out from your mouth... Finally managed to drag myself to bed, still awaiting for one text message from you that never arrived... Throughout the night woke up several times was all cause I wanted to hear from you... Awaiting that perhaps you could still wake me up, there was no calls from you... The heart felt lost, not knowing what to do, not knowing where to go... Everything seems to be moving at a fast speed with the clock constantly ticking whilst I'm still stuck there waiting to see your pic appearing on my mobile screen... Unfortunately all I keep seeing is other people texting me... My inbox is filled up with messages, but none of them are from you... It always used to be from you only, and now there's none at all...

If I said, I had people all surrounding you to make sure you're fine, would I find out that you did the same to me too??? Perhaps not...

You're such a HYPOCRITE!!! STOP PRETENDING!!!

Times and times again, days you would always say,
'Would not bear to let you go'...
'Would hold on to you forever'...
'Would not let go of you no matter what'...
'Would love you and only you'...

Now tell me...

What sort of lies are these???

You are always like that...
You know times where I want you to be persistent, you would never be...
Times where I'm really annoyed, and I just wished you could stop bothering me for a second, you would just cling on to me no matter what...

What happened to all your principles???

What are all these crap you're telling me right now???
'I want you to be happy'...
'You know I wanted the best for you'...
'You deserve a better guy than me'...
'Someone will be better out there to take care of you'...
'Time will heal the pain'...
'长痛不如短痛'...

You keep saying you don't want to quarrel with me, you know I never wanted to too... Do you know how depressing how tiring it is to quarrel every week??? Which couples do that??? Quarrelling once a week is still considered not too bad, there's times where we quarrel twice a week... You reckon I wanted that???

You know what I always needed, I know you couldn't give me it, as much as you try to, but is this all you can do??? When I told you all I heard you saying after all that was basically trying to summarise into 3 simple words, 'Let's break up', and all you can say at that moment was 'Sorry'... Is that the best you can do??? Was there nothing, nothing at all you could say???

You never even try to salvage this relationship... All that you said, it sounded like you meant it, deep down your heart, all along you've been thinking of that... It wasn't a moment of spur, it was you, all along, having that thought... Turning to bed not long after, switched off your main mobile, now what are you trying to hide??? With me crying like a mad woman, red swollen eyes, and you sounded so I've heard, perfectly fine-.- It wasn't the first time I've cried over you, and you know that... Is this what your definition of love is? Is love like a kite to you??? Pull it close tight to you when you feel like it... Let it go further away when it's too much to bear... Finally let go of it when you're tired of it...

Isn't this you??? Always pretending to be a nice guy... A gentleman??? Oh how noble you are right now, trying to think in my perspective, thinking that without you my life would be better... Yes of course, my life would be better, I would have more time to study, less time to think about dumb stuff, oh yes, that's right... And you think this is love, don't you??? Love to you is something you can put down when you want to??? Love is without you in my life... Well, have you ever thought that, has it ever come across to you at all that, without you may not be a good thing??? If true love comes and go so easily, then would people get so emotional??? Without you may be a good thing, but you think that with loneliness surrounding my house, I wouldn't get emo thinking about you??? Missing you??? You filled my house with pictures of you, with objects like toys reminding me of you, with memories of you, then there you go SLAM and walk away... And that's your so-called final decision after a very long time-.-

With me here sobbing, with you there sleeping soundly, sounding alright when I've made someone rang you up... To think that I actually thought you would be upset, but when that someone got back to me saying you sounded perfectly fine on the phone, you just didn't know how hurtful it was to hear that... You must be moving on quite fruitfully in your dreams, while I'm still awake here, not knowing what's my next step... I haven't heard your voice for 24 hours now... Perhaps your voice will become a mystery soon... I seemed to have bad memory sometimes... Certain things I want to remember!!! But I forget them-.-

Because you said you were tired, tired from all your daily activities, you wanted to sleep earlier, I didn't want to let you go, because I felt that you never even spent any time on me, and now you wanted to go to bed, so we quarrel a bit... Then we're talking about the same old stuff like how your TOP PRIORITY is ALWAYS family, friends, homestay family, socialising... When everything is done and settled, oh yes that's when you remember there's a lonely soul waiting at home for you... That's when you call me up, try talk to me... You never realise certain things when I needed you, I needed you at that moment... When you come back to me at night and ask what's wrong, you really expect me to repeat the whole situation to you again??? It's already enough that you weren't there for me at that particular moment, you still act as though nothing went wrong, and it's necessary for me to tell you what's wrong... Can't I get upset??? Don't I even have a right to get upset???

You always said how important I was to you... Well aren't you still afterall letting go of this importance in your life??? Everything you ever did always contradicted with your life... But still, after all that you've hurt me, why am I still standing right here??? Pinning hopes that something miraculous might happen??? Wishing everything will be fine after you wake up??? You never even ring me at all, or texted me today... Does this marks the end of everything??? And why am I still sobbing like a baby... Why did you convince me at the start that everything will be fine??? Why did you make it sound so easy??? Why are you the one who always said you will hold on to the end, yet letting go at this moment in time??? I know you're at your limits too, but really... Is this the best you can do??? And would you stop pretending that all will be fine when deep down in your heart you freaking know it's NOT!!!

Another weekend...

Well, weekend was supposed to be a sleep in time!!! But I got woken up by my brother barely passed 9am, to go to the weekend market!!! SIGH-.- Got up unwillingly, took my own sweet time walking around here and there doing nothing... Finally in an awake mode, we went out... At first I was quite reluctant to go, but didn't regret afterall... Cause breakfast was awesome=)

We went to this store that apparently only opens on the weekend, and things are like $8-$9, yea, seems like those normal prices, but the servings are huge!!! Worth a try!!! And they actually taste pretty good!!!:)


Katrina and Robin=)

My brother and me...


Robin and I got the same food - pork and prawn noodles=)

Katrina's lemongrass fish=)

My brother's spicy beef noodles=)

Oh, and the pork slices were HUGE!!! And there were like 6 pieces of them!!!:P

We had satay after that, not as tasty as Singapore's, but good enough:P

Then we got home and got straight to working - cleaning the house of course!!!

First we had to clean the fridge... The freezer was filled with thick layers of ice everywhere, so we had to melt them and clean the freezer...

REALLY REALLY RARE you would get to see my freezer EMPTY, I mean, it's always filled with stuff you know, like FULL PACKED with food of course!!!:P


Yea, so everything was dumped to the fridge compartment of course:P

Robin cleaning the fridge...

Katrina washing the dishes...

My brother vacuuming the house...

P.S. I wasn't slacking ok!!! Before everyone got working, I was the one doing all the work... Plus I had to think of what to cook for dinner as well!!!

So for dinner, we cooked creamy mushroom with small chicken pieces, garlic prawns, and this dory fish thingy we bought a few weeks back...

Whilst eating dinner, we watched 'Shaun of the Dead' in the dark... Complete darkness yes!!! Kitchen lights were off, living room lights were off, study room lights were off, room lights were off, everything was off!!! It was a funny show, BUT, it was rather scary cause of the gruesome parts... You see blood squirting out, and see-through holes in human bodies:S GRUESOME, not good when you're eating dinner at the same time seriously!!! Oh yea, and during the arvo, after done cleaning the house, we watched 'Howl's Moving Castle'=) It was a cartoon, quite a lovely show, though I still don't get the morals of that show... Perhaps Robin was right...

'You are only as ugly as you think you are'...

The housemates' way of communication...

11th August 2009 - When I told Jorine I needed to sleep over...
Celia:
*can fruitfly sleep over your house on thursday?
Jorine:
*ohhhh.
*can
*i will prepare those fly swapper to swap on it!

12th August 2009 - When I told Chen Yi I was sleeping over...
Celia:
*i only have class at 11==
*and im staying at your hse tmr
Chen Yi:
*har
*tmr night u mean?
*why leh?

So it became a conclusion that both housemates don't communicate with one another, so the next time when you need to notify them of something, it is rather important to have a combined chat so that both of them knows what's going on...

Roughly one week later...

20th August 2009
Jorine:
*celia celia !!!
*can do us a favour ?
*if vitasoy is on offer..
*can you pls inform us ?

Within seconds...
Chen Yi:
*celia!!
*when r u going bulk-shopping again??
*help me check smth!!
*help me check vitasoy choc milk whether its on offer!! on how much does it cost!

Congrats on you two housemates for improvement in communication skills=)

Songs that were played like a million times on my MP3...

Haven't got a clue why, but these songs are so good, they're just stuck in my head for so long!!! I love emo/break-up songs=)


Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know, that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road, someone's gotta go
And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know, that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road, someone's gotta go
And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right, when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on, so I'm already gone

(Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah)

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know, that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road, someone's gotta go
And I want you to know, you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right, when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on, so I'm already gone


Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield
One word turns into a war

Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor) Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor) Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight (Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for (Fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor) Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor) Get your armor

Why does love always feel like?
Why does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for


Jessica Mauboy - Because

(It's all because)
I waited for so long, you showed me you were the one,
I gave you my heart, right from the very start so,
Every time you lied, I knew inside,
Get another chance, I was hurting, I was broken,
I stayed too long and so that's why, you didn't think that I knew wrong.

It's all because, I loved ya,
(because) I held ya,
(because) I believed ya,
You're not what I needed,
(because) I'm stronger,
(because) I'm better,
(because) without you, you'd thought I'd be in pieces,
Because (you'd thought I'd be in pieces), because, I loved ya,
(because) I loved ya, (because) I loved ya.

You gave me, just one thing, for taking from the beginning,
You left me, a heart ache, how much more could I take,
With every alibi, that made me cry, I still gave you more,
I should've given up, when I had had enough,
But I stayed too long, that's why, you didn't think that I knew wrong.

It's all because, I loved ya,
(because) I held ya,
(because) I believed ya,
You're not what I needed,
(because) I'm stronger,
(because) I'm better,
(because) without you, you'd thought I'd be in pieces,
Because (you'd thought I'd be in pieces), because, I loved ya,
(because) I loved ya, (because) I loved ya

I made a mistake of giving me to you,I made a mistake of loving you,
I made a mistake of giving me to you,I made a mistake of loving you,
I made a mistake of giving me to you,I made a mistake of loving you,
I made a mistake of giving me to you,I made a mistake.

It's all because, I loved ya,
(because) I held ya,
(because) I believed ya,
You're not what I needed,
(because) I'm stronger,
(because) I'm better,
(because) without you, you'd thought I'd be in pieces,
Because (you'd thought I'd be in pieces),
Because (you'd thought I'd be in pieces),
Because (you'd thought I'd be in pieces),
Because, I loved ya, (because) I loved ya,
Because, I loved ya, (because) I loved ya.

What worse luck can you get???

Waking up dreading Monday mornings, but still managed to drag yourself off the bed, got on the train and sat down, reached the Esplanade Busport surprisingly earlier, thinking you should be able to reach your Maths class early for once, then you see this...



A whole load of people who are like you, queueing up to get on a bus to Uni-.- Not only that, the queue was never seen before so long... It was literally the whole stretch of the busport from E1 to E5-.- Normally the queue would only be around the Blue CAT stop where you come down from the escalator... Unfortunately when I managed to find my camera in a pile of miscellaneous in my bag, the queue was already shortened to E3-.- But still, you get the point there...

Then anyways, I was going home on the train, when I saw this guy and a Caucasian lady that was sorta beside me... The guy has sorta this, um, mental thingy going on, but he seemed nice, just like you know, they behave like little kids, so yea... Anyways, it was nearly reaching Greenwood station, and the lady was like telling him to quickly get up cause they were gonna get off... And being a 'kid', you know it's one of those reactions whereby you'll be like 'No I don't wanna get off' etc, and I think the lady's like a caretaker, so obviously she can't fully pull him off the seat forcefully, like how these tactics never seem to work on kids... Sometimes when these 'hard' approaches don't work, you gotta use a 'soft' approach... So the lady was coaxing him, and that was when the train had just stopped, yet she was still telling him patiently "Come on, the train door is closing, we gotta hurry..." The guy finally got up, and she was holding his hand firmly, leading him towards the door swiftly, and that's when they were one step to the door that it shut on them... And what happened next was unbelievable... The people in that carriage I was on all started to mutter 'AWWWWWWWWWWW' harmoniously, and you could see the look on that lady's face she wasn't pissed off or anything, she was just like 'SIGH...' I don't know why, but it just seems so sweet!!! But again, Greenwood is like a stop where not many people get on, neither does many people get off too, so it's also unavoidable that the door shuts too quickly...

The guy with the lady beside him whilst waiting to get off at Whitfords...
(A very blurry pic cause I couldn't possibly hold my camera up high to take a shot right???)
And that guy was so sweet, he bid everyone goodbye before getting off the train...

So anyways, I got off at Joondalup and went to the Chinese shop to get some stuff... You know, I really dread going there sometimes, I mean, if it wasn't for the convenience (yet not so convenient since it's not located right beside the train station), I wouldn't have gone there... Ever since that incident with her dumb 'we-accept-no-more-than-10-coins-rule' that wasn't a sign that was even posted anywhere around the shop, and it prolly only applies to me purely because I was gonna pay her in coins with a $7 purchase, every single time that lady boss sees me, she gives me that evil stare... It does creeps me out a little at times when going there alone, but that's like the only Chinese store in Joondalup that I know!!!

So anyways, I went in there and got the stuff I needed in 5 minutes, bascially didn't wanna stay in there for too long, and in total my purchase was $5.70... I swear she had the worst attitude ever at that moment, was fully in a deep-sounded angry tone, and I had no choice but to give her a $50 note, so there she was with her evil stare again, and looked like she was gonna kill me for giving a $50 note... Also, when she returned the change, she chucked it on the table unwillingly!!! I was so mad at her, but I thought you know, maybe it is my fault for giving such a big note, so for a moment I was gonna let it go...

Not until where the next moment this Caucasian guy came up to the cashier, and she greeted him so politely, was fully like "Hello! How has your day been? etc etc" He got this 250mL of chocolate milk, costed say like $2.80, and though he apologised for giving a $100 note, the lady boss was fully like "Oh, that is fine!" I CANNOT BELIEVE SHE IS SUCH A B****!!! If the Chinese shops in Northbridge weren't so far to walk to, I would have gotten the stuff I needed there frequently... I wouldn't wanna go to this stupid crap place with the worst attitude ever store to get stuff if I didn't need to!!! And obviously unfortunately I have to-.-If I ever can open a store, I'd open a Chinese shop right OPPOSITE hers, set prices a tweeny tiny bit lower, snatch away ALL HER CUSTOMERS, and go MUAHAHAHAHA at her EVERYDAY!!! GOD I AM FUMING MAD AND PISSED OFF!!!

GRR AT THIS PLACE!!!

So then, I got home around 3pm and got started with my wantons wrapping, knowing that doing it alone would take at least 5 hours of hardwork wrapping if I work efficiently...

It all looks great, but by the time I was done with wrapping them, it was like 11pm-.- I know, I obviously wasn't very efficient with time, but take into account that I needed to cook dinner and shower, so you gotta give me credit somehow... At 11pm, considering I haven't even cook them, and if I don't do so, they'll be spoilt in no time like the other time Kenneth and I spent hours on it, but because it was late, we were tired, and we didn't get a chance to cook them, and everything had to be thrown away...

Having not enough sleep for basically the past few weeks, and considering I haven't been doing much study during the past few weekends as well, yet still am dying from the fatigue, and of course staying up late to make these wantons are just so tiring-.- In between steaming the wantons, I was talking to Kenneth on the phone and basically trying to take a very short nap, cause the wantons were meant to be in the pot for say 3-5 mins long each round with 6-7 in it, and imagine I've got roughly 267 of wantons, so it's like 4 hours at least!!! Yeap, I know that sounds crazy when I've got a tute the next morning that I obviously haven't done anything for it either-.- Didn't speak to Kenneth for any much longer, and like I've said, fatigue was a major problem for me cause I never seemed to be able to sleep it back, and snugging under your blanket, keeping you warm and comfy on the couch, at 1.30am caused me to sleep on, on and on and on and on and on...

Then on and on and on and on and on...

Until this happened...

I woke up, having the blurrest look I would think I've got, vaguely remembering the fire is still on, opened the pot cap, smelt the worst smoke ever, started filling my house up with the smoke, saw the blackest thing ever, and EYES GO WIDE OPEN!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


Yeap, those are my wantons-.- Very black aye??? And you know what??? They're very crispy too... You can hear the crispiness 'cracking' when you put them out in the cold air...


And this is the pot after, totally looking BLACK in that whole pot yes!!!

Imagine I steamed the wantons, and it became black... Just imagine, how can you ever steamed something to black??? So I looked at the clock, realising oh great it's 2.30am, I slept for 1 hour, and it was all because the pot got dried up with water, smoke was gathering together, and when I opened the pot cap, I unintentionally filled my house with smoke... Unfortunately I was still in a shock + sleepy mode I forgot to take a picture of the smoky kitchen... It was SO LUCKY I woke up, I mean, I sleep like a pig, my mum often tells me that if the house was on fire, I would die in that house-.- Something would have made me woke up somehow... But with that unbearable smoke, I couldn't just go to bed like that... So I had to open the door and let the smoke get out, feeling so guilty yet tired, I managed to stay up til 3.30am when the smoke wasn't as bad anymore, I went to bed...

Woke up the next morning, opened the room door, smelt this awful smell in the living room... Yes I remember what I did, and when Robin and Katrina woke up, first thing asked: 'Did you burn something?' SIGH... I know I know, how terrible??? I sprayed the air freshener so many times you have NO IDEA, but it wasn't helpful:(

So I had to go to Uni for the tute, skipping Maths as usual, got to Uni at 9.40am, and first thing I got off the bus??? It was drizzling-.- Nevermind I thought, continued to walk on, passed Arts when it started raining a bit more heavily, was at Social Sciences when it started pouring-.- Just this one day, one day I woke up in the morning feeling drastically tired, didn't check the weather forecast the night before (not that they're trustworthy I realised), decided not to wear a hoodie but a normal jacket instead, it rained, pouring heavily-.-

So I managed to get a bit of shelter at Guild, texted Roong Yeei to see if she had an umbrella, and she replied "Walking in the rain. :(" So I thought it would be fine to carry on walking, with the rain perservering on strongly, until I reached that killer path from Agriculture towards Business School, a path with no shelter at all-.- The rain was getting worse by then, but I had 5 minutes to 10am, and waitng for the rain to subside, god knows when is it, with clothes half wet already, I decided to run across the path... Along the way running, I saw our FA lecturer Sze Kee Koh, who looked at me with those eyes like doesn't this girl know how to bring an umbrella???

Within minutes, got to the bike area of Business School, feeling glad it was only a bit bit more to go, chiong all the way until I saw all these people crowding around right outside Business School after finishing their class... It was all fine before, until I noticed all these people glaring at me, and these guys standing at one corner saying out loud "WOW!!! What happened to this girl???" I mean, I DO understand English you know, it would be good if you could just keep quiet... But when I went into the toilet before going to the tute, I did realise I look like a bit like... Those where your boyfriend brings you out on a date, then decides to bring you to say a garden field or something, starts to tell you he wants a break-up and leaves after finishing what he has to say, then it starts to pour, and you stand there like an idiot, still trying to absorb what he had just said, after hours you finally accepted the fact that he's gone from your life, got home and the first instant you open the door, you parents would go OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! That type of reaction... That's prolly how I looked when I see myself in the mirror, so I guess I can't blame anyone...

So then went into the tute, with everyone looking dry, with their eyes on you, you see Rong Yeei coming in, and she looked exactly like me - drenched-.- How fun??? We were totally drenched from head to toe, all because we walked all the way from the bus-stop at the front of Uni all the way to Business School, which is god damn far away and doesn't exactly have a shelter anywhere!!! It was so uncomfy with wet clothes sticking on to your arms, and wet shoes making your feet feel so yucky-.- I had water constantly dripping from my hair, and it really made me look like a woman who has just been dumped-.- Anyways, couldn't take a picture during the tute, so we decided to take a picture after class, when the Sun came out-.-

Rong Yeei with the big puddle of water...

We were totally drenched at first, but guess it dried up quite a bit after... On our head anyways, not much on the shoe part though...:(

Then I went to the city, and saw this sign that said 'SWINE FLU - Available here NOW!!!' Just thought it was funny to share with:P

That's about all to say for now, I know it's a rather long post... Well Done to anyone, that is, if they've read through this whole post=)

Do women get very clumsy when they have their...?

I dunno, this sounds crazy, but I seemed very clumsy somehow, even Kenneth was like, be more CAREFUL!!!

Well, previously how it happened way back when I was running to the train station as usual, running on a concrete ground with slippers on, even if the grip on the slippers wasn't very good, you still can't technically slip and fall on a ground that's made of gravel can you??? Well I did-.-

I nearly got to the train station, I slipped abit, managed not to fall this time, oh and guess what??? In the end all my tiny muffins dropped to the ground-.- The lady beside me running was like OH MY!!! Then I had to waste time to pick them all up too, just cause it's not good to litter like this-.-

Then there's times where I reached the train station and tagged on, but when the train comes, I hesitate because I cannot remember if I've actually tagged on or not, then I tagged it, and actually got tagged off-.- So I panicked having trying to tag on again, and most likely would miss the train, then of course the bus-.-

So anyways, talk about Thursday first... Chen Yi and I were walking back from IGA grocery shopping, we were just talking about some girls stuff, and we were getting so hyper about saying not getting it for a few months is good, sometimes we even wish for it to be here; at least it makes us feel normal... Before I know it, Friday I've got it... It's rather bad, and I didn't wish for it, not exactly-.- So I was feeling sick on Friday, and god it was my longest day of the week-.- Managed to attend two tutes as time passes by slowly... MA lecture was forever boring, and OMG!!! Let me fast forward my story a bit first... Around 2.30pm ish, when I was supposed to be attending the finance lecture, but was feeling terribly horrible, so I decided to carry the heavy stuff I've bought and left at Chen Yi's house the previous day home... It was like 2+kg of minced pork, 1kg of wanton skin, finance textbook, and all other miscellaneous crap I've got in my bag because I slept over, in the end it felt like I was dragging a rock home-.- Out of all days, when I was carrying the super heavy stuff, Ana couldn't send me home, well halfway to Warwick anyways, cause she had to go home and complete MyFinanceLab which was due at 4pm... So back to my story, I was dragging these big bags out of Biz School looking like a sick Santa, I saw someone who suddenly looked so different from what I've always seen in lectures... He had this charming little smile hanging on his face, that was never seen in lectures... He was forever boring in lectures, a monotone lecturer who never fails to make me hesitate about whether to attend his lecture, and every single time I attended the lecture, I would complain to either Eugene or Yun or occasionally Jasper about how I really don't understand what he's going on about, especially when his lecture notes don't even go accordingly... They jump here and there, and it's full of words-.- So anyways, for some random reason, time was going past so slowly then, and it seemed forever he had that smile hanging, looking like an actual HUMAN BEING!!! But despite all that, it still didn't make me like your unit any better, even though everyone said it's such an easy unit to do...

Ok, seriously back to my main point now... I realised I'm so talkative, even on blogs, where I jump off at a tangent very easily-.- I got home around 4pm, was so tired I decided to take out my blanket and sleep on the couch... Before I knew it, Robin and Katrina came back around 6pm, and I was looking like I sleep-walked from the room to the couch-.- So they were like 'Are you alright?' I figured I prolly looked like a ghost with very long hair and no lights on at home-.- So then they said they were gonna cook Laksa, and blah blah blah, like I'd mentioned 2 posts before... As usual, the girls always ended up cooking while the guys gamed their way through-.- So we were trying to open the can of coconut cream, but there's this part where the can opener didn't managed to cut through, so I decided to use a chopstick to poke it through, little did I know I used too much strength, and although I poked through, the coconut cream burst upwards and got some on the ground and everywhere, and quite a bit on my hand too-.-

That's fine, until when we decided to cook hard boiled eggs, and I was getting this bowl-plate with water, so I could put the eggs in after to let it cool down before peeling off the shell... A moment after I put in the water, I walked to the stove, at a strangely abnormal fast speed, which caused the water to all spill on the ground-.- Something must have kept my mind occupied so I wasn't thinking...

I then decided to get some catalogue paper and put it on the ground to absorb the water, so I got it, and it reminded me of the 50% off Tresemme shampoo + conditioner, so I was gonna show it to Katrina, thinking I would be helping her save money also ma, which caused me to forget the big puddle of water on the kitchen ceramic ground, so I slipped... Well nearly, cause I hurriedly hung on to Katrina's arm!!! She must have thought I was super duper out of my mind, but yea-.-

Then last night when I was washing the dishes, I was washing Katrina's cup when it suddenly slipped out of my hand and leaped like a frog on the kitchen ground... It ended up at one corner, bits and pieces chipped off, so she suggested to throw it away... I feel so sorry, but luckily she has a few other cups too, so it's cool:)

In a nutshell, maybe it's just me who's such clumsy...